Category Archives: G.E.A.R.S.

The skies over Xion

Perspective is important when determining whether something you believe is within the realm of your own world.

Vague sentences aside, this post aims to establish something concrete in the abstract mass of ethereal thoughts that exist within my mind. In a sense, I suppose I aim to nail something down in a sea which has no nails nor material to nail anything to. Hence, it may be rant-y, confusing, and/or presumptuous.

Baring that in mind, continue if you dare.

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It’s always interesting to see how others view the world around them. I would define myself as a relativist.. essentially the world you perceive is unique to you–the knowledge you have is in a way tailored to better fit the method you use to store and recall it. In a sense, I view things as they are relative to the rest of the world. I define words in a way in my own mind that surely differs from the way other people define words in their own minds.

The commonly held idea that a color is a certain color is such an example. Unless you were able to view inside someone’s mind at the moment they pulled up the definition of, say, the color red, who knows if what they see as red is *actually* red. They may have some sort of optical stigmata and are actually seeing a different color but because they defined it as red because it was taught as red, they call it red.

In that mindset, this post looks to analyze how others view the world and perhaps make conjectures as to what may actually be reality. (Or just a.. ranting of a madman)

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G.E.A.R.S. – Judgement


This is probably not a normal post. This will more likely be a sort of view of the abstract. Actually I’m not sure I can totally describe it like that.

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G.E.A.R.S. :: Sociability

I went to the bar today. Mostly cause I’ve been meaning to for a while and just never really got around to it. Not really a good excuse, I suppose.

I suppose I could say it’s more relevant to these reasons:

1. I don’t like smoke.
2. I don’t like the prices.
3. Always got there late or had no reason to go.

But today, I grabbed my new HD camcorder and figured I could go grab some video at the bar. Mostly cause my sister was there and I wanted to show off.

Well, I ended up trying a new drink. “Alien” they called it. Basically was a shot glass of blue curacao with a drop of Bailey’s Irish Cream. The cream forms a swirl in the curacao, so they call it an alien because of that. The bartender apparently put too much cream in the first one he made me, so he made a 2nd one on the house. Two drinks for one price is a pretty good deal. Better yet, got it during happy hour, so I paid even less for it. Was a really good drink too boot. After that, had rum & coke.. and my boss was there and bought me a refill. Ended up spending about an hour at the bar.

But that’s not the entire point of this gear. Rather, this deals with the interaction I had at the bar. A guy by the name of Joe. I’ve forgotten his last name almost as soon as I walked out the door and the details of our conversation, but it’s the fact that it’s so easy to get into a conversation with someone. Of course, I’m bad at small talk so I just discussed whatever came to mind. In particular, he seemed like an interesting individual. He was a construction worker from Kansas, somehow finding his way north to my quaint little town. Generally discussed family and a general gist of life, I suppose.

Just interesting, I suppose. We can form transient connections so easily. Human nature, perhaps? Are we a social entity? Do we need connections to survive? Life would be a lot more dull if we didn’t connect to people. I suppose you could relate it to a discussion I had a while ago about the Voice of Thought and the references to the Tower of Babel. At what point do our uniformity in language lead us to entropy and destruction?

Many questions, I suppose. But for now, I learned I can connect to random strangers. I don’t know whether I’ll always remember Joe or whether he’ll always remember me, but the possibility makes me ponder.

Next time, I’m totally going to try Bazooka Joe, Adios Motherfucker, and maybe a Barney on Acid.

G.E.A.R.S. :: Order

I’m odd. I suppose that requires further insight.

I am logical. Or at least I’d like to think I am. I’ll be posting a gear about logic later, but for now, know that I typically follow the logical outcome. If A then B else C. Basic stuff.

But I do not follow order. I’m terrible at strategy games. I don’t plan ahead, which is strange for logical people. Typically you’d surmise that if they are logical and can correctly gauge a situation based on observable evidences, they should have some sort of order. I do not. I tend to make plans only to either forget them or ignore them. I’m quite adept at living without a plan.

Which is probably my downfall. I can’t plan ahead. Chess, for example, brings me amazing moves. I recall once when I was playing Chess in study hall in high school (it was considered a mind activity so the teacher allowed it) that I put my opponent in a situation he could not readily escape. My knight would either take his Queen or his King. How did I arrive at that point? I have no idea. Did I plan that? No. I just found myself in that particular situation.

As Woody Allen said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.” What does that mean for me? I suppose logically it would set me into a predicament. It would mean that because I don’t follow order and plans, I miss specific deadlines to “show up” and therefore aren’t as successful as I could be.

Or it means that he was incorrect and that success should be measured not by what you have or can do, but rather how you feel about it. What good is success if you don’t feel you earned it?

Moving on, what does order mean, exactly? Order means finding a place for everything and having everything in a place. I suppose I could say that my current arrangement of my living area is ordered in such a way I can find what I need with a certain amount of effort (in layman’s terms: mess) but does that mean I need to enforce an order on it? I suppose I could say I like a definite observable degree of entropy. It makes life.. lively. Of course it also means I can’t find anything I want immediately but typically the systems I would employ to sustain some form of order fail after I fail to meet them.

I lose the order of my order, I suppose I could say. I wouldn’t really say the same about my file system. I have a pretty good idea where everything is, unlike my living space.

I suppose I could say that my work is more ordered than my life. That’s rather broad terms though and a tad of a misnomer. My “work” as it currently stands is not ordered. I work as a night shift front desk clerk at a motel. I show up 10 to 15 minutes late everyday. The other drones whom I work with do the same. There’s not much order there. There is one exception, who shows up exactly on the dot. But she also works at a bank, so I suppose that’s why.

The G.E.A.R.S. of my Construct

I decided to have an idea. It didn’t necessarily come to me, rather I decided I should do it. It’s one of those types of ideas that you get when you really don’t have ideas. You make the idea based not on what comes to you, but rather what you create. Or something.

I suppose I could say I was randomly browsing my net. I say my net in reference to my own site, not be confused with the internet, intranet, interweb, interwebs, interwebz, or any other mockery of “hypertext transfer protocol” services. I found myself at my old blog posts. Rereading them I realized I must have lost a part of me, some grain of wit, along the way. Therefore, I decided to start:


Attempts at

So.. basically I’m going to attempt to define myself one gear at a time not so much to describe who I am but rather find out who I am. One of those self-discovery methods, I suppose. The fact I’m making them public is almost irrelevant. Of course I’ll be censoring specific aspects but for the most part I’ll be as honest with myself as I can be. Perhaps I can gain insight into my own workings from others who happen across this medium. I suppose you could say this is relative to some of the discussions I have had about soul and existence. One theory is that you only exist if another perceives you exist. That’s a general gist.

I’m not really doing this for any class or anything, just figured I should try to reactivate the wit I appear to have had a year or two ago.