I graduated from Green River High School in 2004.

I graduated from Western Wyoming Community College with an Associate of Arts in 2006.

I graduated from the University of Wyoming with a Bachelor of Arts in English in 2008.

I am the Rocket-Miner newsroom proofreader and enjoy my job.

But, I truly desire to be a librarian.

My 3rd rejection letter from the library system has already been blogged about recently.

Well I tried again, because the person who got the full-time reference librarian was a full-time circulation librarian, leaving a full-time position open for only internal applicants again.

……………………..

Dated, April 27, 2010, I got my 4th rejection letter from the library system.

“Dear Ashley,

We thank you for your interest in the Sweetwater County Library Circulation Staff and for your time and effort in making application for employment. We regret to inform you that you were not chosen for the position; we had many qualified applicants which made our final decision quite difficult. Thanks again for your continued dedication to the Library System.”

It is so frustrating because:

I typed up a three page cover letter/transfer request explaining my desire for the position.

I had two letters of recommendation from two teachers I respected and they respected me.

I wore a suit I bought for interviews.

I prepped for my interview by writing down questions I thought they may ask considering I remembered the questions from the interview two weeks ago and had a previous circulation interview and practiced being clear and calm with my boyfriend.

……………………

After the interview, I was told by a reputable source that they thought I improved 100 percent from my last interview two weeks prior.

I was also told it was a hard decision and they finally decided on a deciding factor – the interview and NOT education.

The person who got the job I desired is a librarian’s daughter.

I am not blaming nepotism or anything although it’s hard not to have my suspicions.

I am frustrated by the point that this person doesn’t have a bachelor’s degree and won over me.

I feel like of course she was more calm during the interview … she grew up in a library environment.

I did not; it’s not something I grew up into, but something I truly desire.

It feels wrong to lose to somebody with less education.

………………………….

My whole life growing up, teachers told me I need a college degree to get a good job.

My family told me college is very important.

My dad stressed that a college degree is the deciding factor for a job if two people are equally acceptable candidates.

Those are what I was told if I asked “What is the point of higher education?”

They were wrong.

Yes, I suppose there are the psychological reasons to being in college such as becoming more confident about who you are and personal satisfaction.

I had personal satisfaction doing well on hard-worked papers and writings and was brought to tears when a couple professors at the end of my senior year told me they were proud of me as I stood in a small classroom, presenting my Senior Thesis on Pan’s Laybrinth and theories of Foucalt in front of a group of seated students, visitors, and professors and trying my best not to shake and stutter from nervousness.

My professors were proud of me at that moment and told me again as I walked across the stage with my diploma, embracing me for possibly the last time I see them.

………………………………

Yes, she has more experience, working part time and volunteering at the library system during her whole life.

But it still bothers me.

Thankfully, I completed my degrees with mostly scholarships. I only have a few grand on my school loan left and I plan on paying that off with part of the large rebate check I should be getting for being a first-time homebuyer.

If I did not have academic scholarships and had a much larger school loan like my boyfriend, the pain would be worse because like most people, I am not a fan of wasting large amounts of money.

Unfortunately, rather than about education, obtaining a desired job seems to be based on who you know and presentation.

All about presenting yourself in one hour of your time.

Prep. Prep. Prep.

Still inevitable that I will be nervous around people I don’t know staring daggers at me and me intricately trying to form a response to their questions in words that they want to hear.

Which comes to who you know. People who know all of the library staff prior to interview will of course be more comfortable.

So I guess the main question is, have I wasted my time completing my bachelor’s degree?

…………………………..

Sure, I enjoyed college, meeting new friends, having enjoyable colleagues, having conversations with professors who love books as well, practicing writing, and reading excellent books I probably would not have thought to read otherwise.

But did I need it?

I could have practiced writing in a journal every night about things I read and experience.

I could have went to a library and browsed their fiction and nonfiction displays and pick out books from there.

Or read blogs and find books that are recommended on sites I enjoy and check those out as well.

I could have made new friends at library activities such as Poetry Jams, Poetry Slams, LAN parties, and much more.

To obtain the job I desire, theoretically I could have not completed a bachelor degree and instead volunteer and sub at libraries, and possibly obtain a part-time job at one while I lived with my parents.

My friend tells me I should apply again if an opportunity arises.

And work on my PRESENTATION.

I may consider it but it depresses me an awful lot that education wasn’t the deciding factor and presentation was.

………………………….

So higher education, what is the point?

You tricked me into believing that I could do anything I desired with my degree with perseverance.

Well I persevered and was better than three other candidates but in the end, my higher education was irrelevant.

My friend told me that she knows people with multiple degrees in higher education and still have not gotten a job they desire.

My friend also has said she has obtained a job as well over people with a higher education than her.

What about them?

The ones that have multiple degrees … and have wasted countless sums of money.

………………….

So higher education, what is the point?

I feel that there is none besides to create a sinkhole of depression for me (and others who have multiple degrees, have school loan debts, and others without those accomplishments win).

……………………

Nothing changes the fact that education wasn’t the deciding factor.

My favorite games that cause all of my bad emotions to disappear for a while are role-playing games.

I am able to suspend my anger, frustration, stress, sadness, etc. while playing these games.

These games that I love consist of:

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and its sequels

Dragon Age: Origins and its sequels

Neverwinter Nights 2

I love the fact that its so versatile and you can really do what you want in those games.

Choosing alignment of what kind of person you are, good evil, etc.

And even if you pick one, your alignment sways with what you say in conversation.

I love picking from a huge selection of what to say in the dialogue with anyone from main story points, to NPCs, to other party members.

And having what you say, have a cause and effect reaction.

I love how I can choose from a multitude of selections for feats and so on for my character.

I love these games so much because I am playing them as I really would if this other world were real.

And it feels real enough that I am choosing what I say, doing what I want, and picking and choosing everything.

They are my escape out of choices in one life into a life where I also have choices and consequences but I enjoy it and dream it is real.

So this is my third rejection letter from the libraries to work there full time. They have all made me cry.

I desire to work in the library system, keeping busy, picking out books to order, helping people, and being heavily involved in the community.

Sure, I can be shy at first. But I warm up. Soon I feel at home.

Felt that way at the Rocket-Miner. Super shy in both interviews.

I don’t try to be. I just feel all the pressure and the weight of every answer that comes out of my mouth leading to first impressions and immediate like or dislike.

Usually, I don’t care what people think. But then, I have to and want to say the exact things they want.

Maybe, I just suck at interviews. I even wore a suit I bought this time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love working with the newspaper. But I have a special place in my heart for libraries.

A whole room in my house is a library. I feel the importance of tangible books and the freedom of knowledge.

If I was able to work in the library system full time, I would continue my education.

I would obtain my masters in library science. (MLS).

I suppose I could while at the Rocket-Miner as well …

Although would be pointless to incur more debt if I don’t get a full-time job in the library system.

I have already taken my GRE so I know my score is high enough to apply for the progam.

It is just debatable.

The tone of this letter I got today was kind but nonetheless, a rejection letter …

Makes me want to try again sometime, because, hey why not …

My friend/Public Relations Librarian Janice encourages me.

Says that she knows people that were rejected eight times before getting a full-time job there.

I am only on rejection three I suppose so I shall try whenever an opening that I desire occurs.

At least I am on the substitute list so I get mailed all of the job ads that are internal.

Perhaps, I will be called upon to sub again this summer on Saturdays.

Here goes the body text of my letter word of word:

Dear Ashley: Thank you for your interest in the Sweetwater County Library Reference/ILL position and for taking the time to visit and interview. The entire interview team enjoyed talking to you. While you have many of the qualifications we are looking for, we have offered the position to another candidate and she has accepted. I encourage you to watch for future openings in the Sweetwater County Library System and to apply. Your application will be kept on file for six months. You only need to call the business office to activate. Best of Luck.

Interesting tone for a rejection letter … but still, I am a tad depressed about it.

I tried harder than I had previous, making a cover letter, wearing a suit, and asked a question when they asked if I had questions at the end when usually I don’t.

Maybe it just isn’t my time yet to be at the library.

Maybe it will never be my time at the library.

Maybe it’s my fate to take care of the Rocket-Miner.

Being its eye, trying my best to fix all mistakes.

I feel the weight of its importance; I am dearly needed.

People tell me the newspaper is much better with me there.

It is noticeable apparently.

I just wish I had a computer at my desk and then I could write when bored at work

And research ideas from the Internet.

I just don’t want to beg for a computer and rather wish it was given to me instead.

As just a random surprise one day in that matter.

Perhaps I could start a column.

Maybe be a food critic like in Ratatouille … although I’m not a food expert.

Any ideas, let me know.

I’m a boring person and don’t really do any extracurricular activities.

Hmm … I like books, role-playing games, anime, dragons, cats, all wild animals especially wild cats, reading the news, discoveries in science (all branches of science: astronomy, geology, evolution, biology, etc.), and eating food.

Out of nowhere, hidden until now,

The claws of this beast come.

Not certain exactly how.

Coming closer to stop airways.

So fast now almost within days.

Creating a huge lump on his neck.

This is an escalating interstate wreck.

Then the drugs come of ABVD.

It’s said that cancer claws will leave.

But immune system will be shot.

At least cancer claws were caught…

ABVD may cause hair loss as well

This is like entering a living hell.

ABVD may kill idea of little ones

But cancer should be killed off by their guns

My brother is awesomely amazing.

Avid football fan, college freshman, just eighteen.

I wish I never had to leave his side.

I wish this was all a dream and could just hide.

I hope he’ll get through this although the next 12 months will be rough.

But for him I will be where he is when he wants  just to be with him showing my love.

After nearly a year and a half of graduating from The University of Wyoming with a Bachelor’s Degree in English, I am finally obtaining a job that will utilize this degree. Today I was hired to be the proofreader of the local paper of Rock Springs, WY, The Rocket Miner.  There was an ad for a Lifestyle Writer and I applied for it. I then had two interviews for this position. I printed off writing samples from UW and showed them to my interviewers. They were well received and instead of a lifestyles writer and due to a series of events, I was offered the position of a proofreader because of my attention for detail and excellent grammar. I am just so happy right now. I hope I love the job and I have a good feeling that I will! I am sure that this job will lead to many opportunities and stories to share.

The wind rips through the trees

Like pages from a book

It sways from one direction to another

There is no planned agenda at all

Never knows where to go next

Where does one go next?

There is no precise plan

But whatever one chooses

Is there a correct and incorrect path?

What if both paths appear welcoming?

Wyoming wind chooses both directions…

But if this is not possible, what then?

If only life was easy like the wind

Rather, Seclusion is so inviting

Escaping from everything

Residing alongside my laptop

Here are several links concerning my ET writing class that people might want to look at.

Was my favorite class.

Unfortunately, I am not featured so talked into a microphone very nervously for nothing. Oh well. Actually a reference to lying and fear are mentioned so that could be an indirect reference to me. They are good reportings nonetheless. They start from news articles and then the different sites and blogs that have picked up on it become quite interesting…

http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/wpr/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=1277164

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/0515/p20s01-woam.html

http://www.topix.com/city/laramie-wy/2008/05/creative-writing-for-extraterrestrials

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=4873966&page=1

http://www.centauri-dreams.org/?p=1879

http://www.nasawatch.com/archives/2008/05/nasa_funds_girl.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/1989062/Nasa-sponsors-course-on-how-to-talk-to-aliens.html

http://www.universetoday.com/2008/05/20/what-would-you-say-to-et/#comment-21032

http://www.ourstrangeworld.net/?p=12310

http://www.alienmindbook.org/ <– This author contacted my professor notifying him that he had read about our class

The number of weeks until graduation is now just one
I will be so glad when all of my tests and papers are done

On Friday my greatest loved ones will come
Perhaps I’ll celebrate with some Malibu and rum

Now I must stop my procrastination and write
Although can’t seem to find my Inspiration Light

Then on Thursday I will be officially done
And then will be able to have worry free fun

That night is the English department dinner
Where perhaps I will feel as if I’m a winner

And I’ll play WoW and joyously celebrate
As for my guests, I patiently and excitedly wait

Tap Tap Tap goes my laptop keys
For my professors I must please

As I listen to my music and daydream
Of me and my cat leveling up as a team

And of seeing James! among other happy things
Besides a multitude of well-earned dings!

Now enough procrastination already
Soon will also see my best friend Lee

The number of weeks until graduation is now just one
I will be so glad when next weekend I have lots of fun

In my Writing for Extra Terrestrials class today, we utilized Glide Writing which is a way to use symbols which have mulitple meanings that one may also morph together and animate as well.

I wanted to share because it is neat and encourage everyone to give it a try.

Unfortunately, you can not create your own symbols for the Glide language but I wish you could. Also some other features I wanted in the program as well are the ability to rotate symbols and to morph horizontally rather than always vertically.

This would be a neat program to create your own screensaver with the morphing and animating of your own symbols.

Go to the Glide website
Select “Glide Language”, Select “Collabyrinth” and then launch it and well the rest is explained in text.

I made a version of the first stanza of William Blake’s “The Tyger” with Glide and captured the screen image. Of course I couldn’t capture the animations I did forming the glyphs for “burning bright” and “forests of the night” for example but if you go the website, you’ll be able to see what I mean. It is rather amusing.

No More Shakespeare Abstracts.

No More Shakespeare Movie Reivews.

Also, just realized that Office and Scrubs appear online nbc.com so I don’t have to worry about missing them. So I am watching them currently.

Then back to reading Shakespeare articles. 8D

OK. This has no relation at all to English but I guess in a sense everything could relate to literary theory anyways…

So I’m pretty stoked about new Office and new Scrubs.

Probably the only weird enough person to drive across town to secure an individual TV at school to watch new Office and Scrubs while on laptop….

I love Scrubs, my number One Show, and Office, my number Two Show.

J.D./Turk clip from the new episode!

Last night went to A Fine Frenzy with my friends Katie and Ashlee in Denver.

If you haven’t heard Alison Sudol, it is a must.

This is her first headliner tour. She is beautiful, so nice, talkative, has a sense of humor, and interacted with audience. Also, her dress fit her very well and she drank tea on stage.

She sang her entire album, I believe, and also sang cover songs of two of her favorite bands: “I will follow you into the dark” by Death Cab for Cutie and “Across the Universe” by The Beatles.

Katie, Ashlee, and I leaned on the stage the entire time.

Afterwards. the band came out to meet people who stayed around. We had actually seen one of the members at a coffee shop before the show and he remembered seeing us so that was neat.

All three of us purchased shirts of different designs and Alison said I looked cute in mine. I was a bit flattered.

Since we had arrived at The Bluebird early, we picked up free posters. She signed each of ours personally. Well actually I had mine signed for the assistant manger of Laramie Hastings – Jeremy since he loves A Fine Frenzy but was unable to attend. I knew he’d love it. And well although other workers may think I’m a kiss ass, I receive a purge of pure joy causing others moments of happiness. I know Jeremy will be excited and this will bring me a moment of happiness as well.

I did ask her to sign my favorite hat on the white strip inside that could be used to hang it on a hat rack possibly. And well she did personally as well on that small space. Oh man so awesome…Alison Sudol’s signature in my favorite hat addressed to Ashley with a small message as well…

Katie, Ashlee, Alison, and I had our picture taken all together and I’m holding onto Alison. Picture was taken with Ashlee’s camera and well here it is:

Also learned something awesome about the name “A Fine Frenzy”. One of the shirts – the one that Ashlee purchased – had a couple birds and a quote from Shakespeare with the band name inside the quote as well. I asked Alison where the quote came from and she said from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. I thought that was pretty awesome…so this blog did after all relate to English major material.

My school week is over…I officially have six full weeks of school before graduation.

I have five classes…five final projects.

All of a sudden, I feel a sense of apathy and wish to not do any more reading or writing. But I know I must in a sense of drudgery. I question why I’m even in school and question what I will even do with my degree. For the latter, I am uncertain but while I don’t have a clear destination in mind, I know I’m in school because I got a scholarship while I was in high school for tuition for four years in WY and I couldn’t pass that up. I thought about grad school and extending the same scholarship but as frivolous as it sounds…

I really need a break from classes (especially classes that I do not express much interest in), reading material that I have no desire to read, writing about ideas I have no concern about, frustration over not finding a parking spot that is free by the school, questioning why parking next to the school would even cost money anyways, tests that are a big part of showing what kind of student you are, projects that make you or not, and grades in general.

I also feel a sense of drudgery at my job in Laramie that I work at a few days a week so I can pay bills. While I do not always do the same tedious thing, I have a horrible sense of apathy there as well. But I linger there since only about two months left until school is out.

I want some job that could utilize my reading and writing skills and then play WoW when I’m not working…

I just wanted to say…..

Kubler Swiss Absinthe Superieure mixed with Cherry 7 Up…..

Is Delicious!

So I found out today in Writing for an ET Audience, that besides SETI (Click Here in case you don’t know what SETI is), may have the best polished works in a science magazine (professor talked to two of them although can’t remember right now which ones) and or have our work read on Open Spaces, a Wyoming NPR program.

I don’t know if any of mine are that great but would be really awesome if one was recognized besides for SETI use….for a people audience other than an ET audience. haha

Well my backpack has finally died that I have had for the most of high school and college. The zipper completely broke today between classes. Luckily I have my Inuyasha bag at home but alas, it is smaller but will suffice I’m sure. Well I got my Fantasy Midterm back today with my take home essay…..got an A on that but an 89 percent total since I got a B in the in class portion since well I dont’ like being tested in class. As soon as I get home like around midnight tonight after school, tea party, and work I’ll post it up because well I like it and want to share and that’s what I do. Had Shakespeare class outside today and it made my day! Great Spring Weather! I just felt the need to share about my Backpack Attack. I was like noooooooo bad pack back!!! But hey now I’ll finally put my Inuyasha bag that I got as a graduating high school present to good use. yay for that. Hope everyone is enjoying their day.

Well I have decided to post my writings on this site this being a blog and me being an English major. The following is my midterm for my Cultures of Nature class and three are three of my favorite papers with one of my favorite teachers CMF. I will keep posting writings to ones I like to ones that maybe aren’t so great. But I feel it is beneficial to share. And then perhaps I’ll write some original pieces for the blog as well; that will be neat.

So my friend Rick asked me If I wanted a blog and I was like um sure. And I figure my first blog should be about my thoughts on blogs.

Why do people write blogs?

When I read them, it is like seeing how some one else thinks but I also have this eerie feeling that I am prying into someone’s private life like I am reading their diary.

But really…I shouldn’t feel this way because obviously if they are writing a blog, they know it has the possibility of being read by anyone.

And well the subject of blogs: I could make blogs and rant about something that irks me at the time. But I could have strong feelings about this one day and not another. So then I would feel that I should delete that blog because my feelings would not be aligned. But this makes no sense either. What we think changes from one day to the next. What I think now is not the same as I thought a year ago for example. In my Writing for an Extraterrestrial Audience class, we wrote a letter to ourselves on futureme.org which will send you the letter in 3 months at the earliest. It will be interesting when I receive it in April. But since it is true that peoples’ minds change over time, maybe blogs show people how they have viewed particular subjects over a period of time. That could be interesting.

I hope to not create a lame travelogue of Moltzan’s journey through life but hope to think of certain topics that I feel compelled to write about. After all, I am a writer by heart. I love to read and write, just not when I have to in a short time span for school. Should be graduating May 10th with a B.A. in English. I say “should be” because it is two months away and for some reason I am just really nervous about it although I will more than likely be graduating since I do my school work ultimately even after I heavily procrastinate. What I will be doing after I graduate is uncertain but I heavily feel I am ready for a break.

Well I feel I am breaking my title of “blogs” so I will end this blog and appear again soon with whatever my thoughts provoke me to write.